It’s been a while since my last blog, but that can be attributed to one heck of a flu that is still fighting its way to stay in my system. Fight on little flu, I have Buckley’s. But the time has not just been spent on fighting off illness causing bacteria, it has also been spent on some changes at my place of work. I have started a new position, one that I had to fight for (view previous blog) and has made me come in contact with people who I have to remember to keep my calm and cool around.
A few months ago, I was informed (ok, not so much informed, more so found out) that there were a lot of wrong doings going on behind my back between people I had never heard of at my workplace. There was a lot of talking and sneaking around from people who I didn’t even know knew me…people I didn’t know. So it came as much of a surprise that these people found it ok to run around, sneak behind my back, and talk about me, not saying nice things either. I spent quite a number of days hashing out my feelings and frustrations about this. After all, I firmly believe that my name is not something to be spewed out of anyone’s mouth, and should you not even know anything about me, that’s even more of a reason to keep quiet. I thought I had it all out of my system, until I started my new position.
Unfortunately for me, the new position put me right in the midst of these, shall I say, floosies. I now have to sit amongst them and their backstabbing, childish ways. My blood boils every time I see one of them, or hear their attempts to talk to me. Yes, that has happened. For example, I was speaking with a friend about some new policies that had been laid down at work. Floosie #1 (who decided to call me crazy behind my back because she was listening to other people instead of finding out the real story) decided to stop her conversation to listen to mine. Well, if eavesdropping wasn’t enough, she then decided to interrupt me to get clarification on what I was saying. Um, Floosie #1, I was not talking to you. Keep in mind, this one doesn’t know my name, and on her way out put her head down and muttered a quick goodbye (she did say goodbye to everyone else by name, mind you). I am a bit confused by this behaviour, as I am the “crazy” one. Why would you be listening in on my conversation and then feel that you can interrupt me to ask about it? Here’s an option, wait til I’m not there and ask about it behind my back, like you are good at doing.
That one isn’t so bad, but there is Floosie #2. This one, has made several attempts to sneak behind my back to speak with the bf, going so far as to tell him she would be sneaking around to say so. This one, like the first, cannot look me in the face. And knows better than do to. If you are doing nothing wrong, then you do not need to sneak around behind my back. If you are doing the right thing, that is not in any way suspicious, then why do you feel the need to hide things? Put her and Floosie #1 together, seeing them on a daily basis and I just want to scream.
Lucky for these two, and the not mentioned others, they are very lucky that I can maintain my calm exterior. I know this is a place of work, and although two grown women (older than I am) seem to feel it is highschool, does not mean I have to stoop to their levels. I have been doing my best to take the high road out. However, I have found with a week of being around them, the high road is not working for me. In fact, being around lying, scheming, floosies, has made me doubt if I really want to keep this position. I have had several thoughts about just going back to the department I was in previous, just to avoid getting myself to a point where I am so angry that I won’t be able to stay on the high road. I am usually very good at staying calm in cases like this, however, I am finding, that I am losing that ability.
I know I can keep myself around REAL people, who have grown up since high school and know how to carry on like adults. For now, I shall just take a deep breath and hope that works.